Floored

“Rosco is ruining the good fortune area”.

“Make him pay for the damages”.

“Rosco's my dog”.

“ I'm sorry”

“It's okay”.

(pause)

“ I thought a coat of paint and the floors redone were not too much to ask.”

“Why don't we look at the big picture”?

“The big picture's shrinking. I added a crystal and a tall plant to my good fortune area. Rosco is canceling those Feng Shui adjustments. I had fantasies of putting him to sleep…. but the karma…I went proactive. I put newspapers on the floor. I took Rosco to the veterinarian. I called 2 dog trainers. I bought a bottle of St. John's Wort.

“Marian, you feel things more than the average person”.

“ Normal , you mean the normal person”.

“Don't reject yourself in my presence. You tend to magnify what actually is. Our job is to help you to…

“Last time you said that what a mess I got myself into”.

“In our work together, you get all the credit and all the blame”.

“As you may remember, I went from our session taking your advice with false hopes. After sanding the floors, Joe, applied a mixture that changed the floors to light rich warm tones. Only he and his European father knew this mixture. This secret formula was so toxic, that all my neighbors complained. The super installed fans in the hallway and taped my door so fumes couldn't leak through the cracks. The next day a pervasive thick aroma hung close to the floors. Joe's men put three coats of polyurethane on top of it. It looked beautiful.

The day after that, I started setting up my furniture. I could be in the apartment 3 hours at a stretch. I'd get light headed and dizzy and have a terrible headache. After 4 weeks, living with a friend, I came to a crossroads.

As you counseled, I went back into my apartment with Rufus and Rosco. We still couldn't breathe so we slept in the bathroom that night on a sleeping bag. The few telephone clients I had, asked me what the hollow sound was but we worked it out. I spent more and more time in the bathroom. When I couldn't bring myself to eat in the bathtub I knew I was in deep trouble. I had over –exposed myself.

I was allergic to floor refinishing.

No one has all the answers, not even you Dr. Normal. Only God who spoke so softly, I didn't hear what was being said. A glitch crept into my heart.

“A what crept into your heart”?

“A glitch”.

“That's what I thought you said”.

My friend took me back into her apartment. I leafed through the yellow pages.

There was hope.

Jay, the environmentalist, brought a new world with him. MSDS sheets were required – listings from the manufacturers of ingredients of all substances applied to the area in question. He assessed the VOC's in the atmosphere – volatile organic compounds. He made note that he was developing a sore throat being in my apartment. He advised that we continue ventilation and add another person to the rescue team.

Dr. Zoro, Jay said, was a genius who developed a neutralizer. This was to be applied along with HEPA vacuuming. HEPA is a filter that picks up microscopic particles. I should be back in my home in no time.

The morning of the treatment, I came to my apartment. Three men in white suites, with gas masks were sitting in the hallway. They had locked themselves out. Dr. Zoro may have been a genius but he was not practical.

I was told to stay clear of my home for 4 days. The neutralizer was changing the molecular magnetic field and everything was being zapped with 5 fans and 5 air purifiers.

The night before the apartment test, the outside hallway where I was living, was painted with cheap enamel paint. The paint fumes reeked into my friend's apartment. I made reservations for a neighborhood hotel. I wanted to be in as good a shape as possible for the testing. When I came to the hotel, I noticed that the entrance was boarded. I walked through a side doorway, and saw a young man at a reception desk. The desk was the only thing still in tact. There was no ceiling and no walls. There were pipes, exposed boards and maybe the dreaded asbestos. The hotel was under renovation.

Suddenly I had a splitting headache. I asked the clerk if he had Tylenol. A tiny Indian woman, who had been walking back and forth in front of the desk, offered some. She'd be right up. I whispered to the clerk, “Is that the house doctor”? He shook his head, no. I went up to my room on third floor.

Soon there was a knock on the door. The woman stood alone with a Tylenol bottle in hand. She wanted to have a look at my room. She mumbled something about living downstairs.

I showed her the suite of rooms. It was overcrowded with chintz, puffy chairs and pillows. It had a rattling air conditioner, which lamely recycled stale air. Once past the layers of curtains, the windows looked out over a transom where people had thrown cigarette butts, probably not from my window. My window wouldn't open. All this was still better than breathing fresh paint all night. The woman took a quick look and left.

I threw the 2 Tylenol down the toilet, left a message on your machine, Dr. Normal and sobbing hysterically got ready for bed. In a half hour you called from Alaska . You were on vacation on a boat. We spoke briefly. I felt much better. You're not infallible but you do care”.

“Marian I'd like to…”

“I fell asleep thinking there was a chance I might never wake-up due to suffocation, fire or a friend of the woman paying me a midnight visit”.

“Marian, I just noticed…”

“The next day came however, and so did the examination of my apartment. “ It's okay now,” Jay said. I still couldn't breathe there for any length of time.

I tried many things. My friend Gretchen came from California and we burnt rare Chumash sage. I went to a doctor specializing in chemical sensitivities and she took my blood. I made numerous phone calls and got sympathy. I rented a second apartment for 2 months. Finally I'm back home and grateful. When I see a homeless person on the street, I'm looking at a brother or a sister. I have a new understanding of their plight.

“Marian…”

“Yes, Doctor”?

“Are you through”?

“Yes, Doctor”.

“I notice you're wearing roller blades”.

“What?

“Roller blades…why are you wearing them”?

“I bought them when Rosco started marking the floors”.

“I see. And when do you take them off”?

“Only when I shower”.

“Only when you shower”?

“Yes”.

“Why don't you take them off for bed”?

“I don't know…just in case”.

“In case of what”?

“Whatever…”

“Could you tell me what the date is today”?

“November 26, 1999”

“Who is president of our country”?

“ Clinton … I can't think of his first name… Bill… Bill Clinton”.

“Would you like to come in for an extra session this week? I just happen to have one tomorrow at 11:15 in the morning.”

“Do you think it's necessary”?

“I think it's time we work through the Rufus problem”.

“Rosco…”

“Yes, yes, the Rosco problem”.

“I'll let you know Doctor. Thank you. Don't bother helping me up. I'm learning to stand on these all by myself.”