“You're wonderful!” he said. “I love you.”
The dark-haired young man yearns towards me …...
“Thanks! Thanks so much!”
My husband, John and I walk further into the room. He must have seen Peter Falk's new “Obrien” series. I played opposite Peter in one show. But will I ever work again? That's my fear at the end of every job.
Party chit chat.
“Do you have kids?”
“God! Can you believe Johnson?”
“Did you march?”
“I know a guy still living in Canada.”
“Bloomingdales for make-up?”
A couple of hours pass.
John whispers we should go. I'm relieved. We turn towards the door only to see a young man being held by three friends. The young man is throwing up. All over the pants leg of one friend and the hard wood floor. He's stumbling, looking miserable and lost within an eddy of despair.
“That's the fellow who thought you were magic,” John said.
My heart falls to my knees. I feel shame and I don't know why.
#
Judith and I are dining at Bodrum's. It's our favorite to lunch. We're celebrating Judith's birthday. She's younger but I don't know by how much. We met in our first Broadway show. She was beautiful then. Huntington Hartford thought so too but he didn't get anywhere. Now after more than forty years, wisdom has upstaged beauty and she's become my friend with eyes still like sapphires.
Our favorite dish at this Turkish restaurant is Lebne a strained yogurt dish for Judith and Babaghanoush a charred smoky eggplant dish for me. I'm vegetarian and Judith out of Southern politeness never eats meat when we lunch. We begin our meal with relish, we're both hungry.
I'm just back from walking my dogs. Judith's just back from Seattle visiting her daughter. Judith has been blessed. A handsome husband of forty years. Mother of two. Grandmother of three girls. Cruises to Turkey, Spain, the Carribbean. A summer home in Fire Island. A spacious apartment on Riverside Drive overlooking the Hudson. Many friends. Many interests. Late into her acting career she wanted to be ordained an Episcopalian priest like her dad. But as fate would have it, she was not be constrained by formalities of the church.
“What do you think of Michael Jackson?”
“Sad.” She said.
“He's adored and loved by so many.”
“Umhmmm….”
“I think his huge appeal shows there's a need in people for transcendence.”
“Transcendence or euphoria?” she questioned.
“Transcendence.”
“Oh I dunno. On a much lesser scale than Michael, when I was in the soap Another World playing Lenore, I was also doing the Broadway show, Dinner at Eight .” she said. One matinee day, as I was walking towards the Alvin Theatre I heard screaming. I turned only to see a group of middle-aged women about my mom's age, scrambling off a tour bus, running towards me screeching: “Lenore!” “Lenore!” “Lenore!”
“Did you give them an autograph?”
“I did. I had to calm them down first,” she said. “It was surreal. Their enthusiasm had gorilla-like proportions.”
#
For some reason since Elvis I never paid attention to pop performers. Now with the news the King of Pop is dead, I've been Googling and You Tubing. Michael Jackson! How did I miss him? Since June 25 th , he's everywhere in the papers and magazine, on TV, on the computer, in the atmosphere. Even the sidewalk artist Hans changes from Renaissance images to Michael Jackson and millions around world are mourning his passing and celebrating his work. The clamor for tickets to his comeback tour and now his memorial! He's won so many hearts. Thriller the most popular music album ever, Billie Jean, Don't Stop til You Get Enough, We Are the World, Earth Song…… My favorites are Ben and I'll Be There.
Michael Jackson a genius, dancer and singer, began performing as a kid and was obsessed with finding his own kid inside… changed his appearance from a handsome black man to a white androgynous person, clutched his genitals, stood on his toes, made moonwalking famous. His voice remained youthful. Wore sequins, one white glove onstage and masks in public, was charged with pedophilia and was acquitted, was going to make a This Is It comeback and tickets were sold-out within hours. This unusual person was able to take people out of themselves and give them a glance of heaven. As for Michael, he said he saw God in the faces of his children. “That's why I love them so much. That's what I see.”
God seems to be everywhere it depends on where we want to look. Some mock the idea by turning to hate, some settle for a glimpse and some seek the light of a thousand suns or something in between. But the urge is there to seek and the yearning is in everyone. That's what I believe anyway. Michael loved his fans; he knew first hand what it was to yearn. He gave them sustenance for a little while. Maybe he just wore out from giving. It can be a killer, being the object of adoration from which to catch a little bit of heaven.