I had a dream. I dreamed I died and went to heaven. St. Peter greeted me warmly and said, “Turn to your left for intermediate.”
“Intermediate!” I exclaimed. “Why not the top?”
“You'll have to talk to God about that,” St. Peter said. “Turn right, go up the stairs, and turn left. You will see a palace that looks like earth's Taj Mahal. You can wait outside until it's your turn.”
I turned to the right, took a deep breath and went up the stairs. I thought the staircase would never end. I usually get dizzy going up stairs. But my mind remained clear. I finally reached the last step and turned to my left. Sure enough, there was a palace that looked like the Taj Mahal. Thousands of people and all kinds of animals were waiting. I sat on one of the benches and asked the fellow next to me, if everyone here were to have a private meeting.
“Yes,” he said, “but don't worry. Time is not the same here as on earth. You'll be seeing God before the night is out.”
I sat back and waited. I started thinking what I could do to better my chances. Had there been a mistake? Then I got to wondering where Mama and Dad and Jeff and my Grandma's and the Doctor and Yippy were. I guess I'd rather be with them, if they were in intermediate.
The afternoon turned to night and night turned to early morning. A fellow, who looked like an angel, because he had wings but was wearing a Brooks Brothers pin stripe suit, came over to me. He said that God would see me now. I was to follow him. A giraffe stood up to come in with me. I told the giraffe, although she was my favorite animal, I preferred a private audience and for it to please wait her turn.
I walked behind the Brooks Brothers angel down the long red-carpeted lane. We passed by pools with water lilies floating and rainbow-colored fish shooting sprays of water high up into the skies and back down again. We went up more steps and the angel opened a heavy door made of blue sapphire.
“Go in here, and there at the end of this carpet is God.”
“There's only a little speck,” I said. “It must be over two miles to the throne.”
“Don't worry,” the angel said, “Space is not the same here as on earth. You'll be there in no time.”
“Thank you very much.”
I had taken only a couple of steps when I found myself right in front of the throne. “There” became “here” in a step or two. A short blonde woman wearing a red dress and red spiked heels stood to welcome me.
“I would like to have a talk with God please.”
“I'm God,” she said.
“Oh, my God! I mean Oh, my Gosh! How can you be him, I mean her?”
“I'm Hirm,” she said.
“Well I never expected Marilyn Monroe.”
“God isn't dictated by what you expect, Hirm said. “Why did you want to see me?”
I didn't know what to say. Maybe I should just count my blessings I was in heaven. I felt a gentle warm love and acceptance. Then I knew everything would be all right no matter what I said. So I began.
“Well I was hoping that with all the trials and travails I've endured, that I would be allowed into ultimate and not intermediate. I'm grateful; it's just that, coming from the U.S.A. we believe that anything is possible.
“Your faith is not strong enough yet.”
“Faith?”
“The more, bigger, wider, taller, deeper.”
“Oh that.”
“The more, bigger, wider, taller, deeper is part of the American Dream.”
“I suppose you could say that.”
“You still are not convinced that the more, bigger, wider, taller, deeper is in the ‘here'.”
“I'm not?”
“You're swayed by the ‘there'.”
“It's true.”
“You need some more earth-practice to access the light and the sound.”
“I though we were speaking of the ‘here' and the ‘there'.”
“All is illusion, as you know. It's real of course, but it's real illusion. Each time you strip away illusion you get another illusion until the essence, which is light and sound. Light and sound is the essence of the ‘here'.”
“Are there different kinds of light and sound?”
“It depends on your level of faith as to what kind of light and sound you will perceive.”
I was beginning to think I was hearing more than I wanted to know. Hirm must have read my thoughts.
“Anyway our discussion is premature. You are not due here as yet.”
“Well I thought I'd try to make the transition now, while I'm feeling in pretty good shape.”
“You must go back and do more earth-practice with the ‘here'.”
“But…as I started to disagree, Hirm and the throne began slowly receding. I knew it was impossible to change God's mind. I turned and started walking towards the blue sapphire door. But I wanted one more look. I glanced quickly over my shoulder. There on the throne sat a golden unicorn instead of the blonde woman in the red dress. The unicorn looked like the one on the pendant the nurse had worn when I was in Miami hospital. I awoke with a start.
It was only 5:00 o'clock in the morning. I made some fresh squeezed orange juice. It was the orangeist orange juice I ever had. In fact, my whole kitchen and breakfast table seemed radiant with light. Maybe I was on the way to perceiving the light and the sound. I opened the morning newspaper.
By the time I had finished reading the news about Iraq, global warming, and looking at the book reviews, my kitchen and breakfast table seemed the same as usual.