I met Judith as she was climbing through the window into my living room. That was 40 years ago. There had been not time to rehearse. She replaced 7 other actors who had entered through the door. My first Broadway Show. I was the leading lady and she was my friend, the airline stewardess. Why her character climbed through window, I'm not sure. Judith was blonde, pretty, and talented. But even she couldn't save the play.
I went to vacation in Tobago. Judith went on to “Dinner at Eight”. In this one, she entered in a black evening gown down a long flight of stairs center stage. The stairs had no handrail. She never tripped once during the run of the show. Eventually she became a soap opera star and would do Broadway on the side.
This past summer, we went to the Planetarium to see the Star and Space Show. I wanted to show her Jeff's chair. I insisted we go on the elevator. I panic on stairs, especially open stairs as in the Planetarium. She went along with the elevator idea. Only later did I learn that Judith panics in elevators.
I guess everyone has their way of going up and down. I like solid ground but the ups and downs are a fact of life.
There was a time, when all I wanted to do was to go up – up to where Mama was looking – up to where those stars were, called Liz and Jane and Joan. Up was divine. It gave Mama validation and hope. Now I know everyone has some divine. I don't have to go up, down or over there, to reach it. I just polish off the dust to see the sparkle – it gets dusty here on earth.
Stairs can awaken the Mean Monster within me. One glance can bring shortness of breath, heart palpitations, and furtive looks for other transport. A Pandora's box springs open. Global warming, world hunger, possible nuclear disaster – the pain of not appreciating my parents, my two husbands, and my dog spring to the fore. Not to mention old age, sickness, suffering, and death right around the corner.
Yet, I am drawn to a flight of stairs. They contain possibility. Good fortune may lie at the top or bottom. If the Mean Monster bites my heels, I miss a step and then – potential disaster. An on it goes.
I take the elevator when I have a can. If the elevator has glass on one side, like in the Planetarium, I shut my eyes until the trip is over.
Judith and I enjoyed the Star and Space Show when we finally got there. We could relax and sit and dream. Way out there in the universe is a panorama of harmony and balance. The galaxies, planets and stars, mirror what can be in our minds and hearts. Only we have choice.
We can choose harmony and balance and let the Mean Monster sleep – or not.