I had heard according to certain scientists that depending on the person perceiving the perceived can either be a wave or a particle. In other words we are part of what we perceive and we shape it's beingness. Today I was soaking the lemons and oranges from the grocery in vinegar and then giving each a squirt of soap and a little rub down. This is standard procedure in the time of COVID-19. I was aware I was talking to the lemon as if it and I were one entity. We were united in existing against great odds during this pandemic. It was a serene feeling. I'm pretty sure the lemon didn't talk back...in words anyway.
TAKING STOCK IN THE TIME OF COVID-19
I’ve done good things, and I’ve done bad things. But the best thing was going vegan. I came to New York City with a dream and not much else. I had the lead in a Broadway show within a year. Never mind that the show flopped. I married two men way smarter than myself. I was a caregiver with my folks when they were terminally ill. Never mind that I had kept them distant for many years. I lived in a celebrity building with a celebrity husband in a celebrity lifestyle. Now I live in a rent stabilized one-bedroom apartment. There have been the up’s and the downs. But the best “up” was going vegan. It’s like when I got my first pair of glasses at 6 years old. POW! The world became clear. I didn’t have to sit in the front row of the classroom anymore. And now, I can see very clearly even without eyeglasses, that killing 150 billion beings globally a year isn’t where it’s at.
PEANUT BUTTER IN THE TIME OF COVID-19
I couldn’t sleep. You’d think chair yoga wouldn’t be tiring, but it was, and I was wired.
I checked out the mailing I did on Mailchimp of my new children’s book. Then I went to the kitchen and spread some smooth peanut butter on a slice of multi-grain bread. I dabbed lumps of grape jelly on top. Just before spreading the jelly around with the butter knife - in that precious gap of time- for a splendid minute -everything was normal. I was myself. I could breathe natural without sensing Miss Corona floating in the air… I could eat my snack without
washing my hands for the umpteenth time. It was the peanut butter magic. That staple food from childhood
had a powerful healing effect. I remembered in awe that in junior high my bad boy boyfriend
liked peanut butter sandwiches with mayonnaise and banana. He was a flash of brilliance gone wrong. He’s gone now–He had tough times, but was lucky to have escaped Miss Corona.
DANCE STUDIOS IN THE TIME OF COVID-19
Dance studios were places of magic with only a ballet bar, a mirror and bare floor space. Walking into one was exhilarating. I could transform into a butterfly from the cocoon of daily life. All through high school in Seattle, I survived a broken heart learning exhibition ballroom with my partner, Eric Dege, in the American Legend Hall. In a ballet studio in San Francisco I prepped for the Horse Girl in Genet’s Balcony for the Actor’s Workshop. I was able to be a lyrical woman of the night in only a G string and a black bra. For the Broadway role of Amy in Company we learned our chorus line dance in a midtown rehearsal room. Now, on Zoom at home there’s Stretch and Strengthen class. Tia Harker, the instructor, and I have played the same roles in shows. She is my mirror image only younger, prettier and a real dancer. But for an hour with Tia, I transform again into a “butterfly” during these pandemic times. Never mind that the wings are scarred and a bit torn. i still can fly.
LIGHT IN TIME OF COVID-19
It’s the light, isn’t it, that keeps us going. The aha light when you figure out how to scratch the
itch with the corner of a napkin and not touch your face even a teeny-weeny bit with your fingers.
It’s the your-not-alone light when you realize you can bear washing your red and chapped hands
for the umpteenth time because millions of others are soaping up too. It’s that I-may-not-get-another-chance light when you spontaneously erupt with enthusiasm and say to the porters, the handymen, the doormen and the super, “I love you, stay safe” and really mean it. It’s the grateful light looking back on your life and all the loved ones and friends and family. It’s the awesome Light when you can still inhale…and yes, even exhale. It’s the bright fierce light that you pray to shine for the health professionals and essential workers to keep them healthy and give them strength. It’s the blessed lightness of being one feels when we have come face to face with darkness.